Day 26 - Now I am really confused?

Stepped on the scale this morning and I was forced to weigh my self seven times. I grabbed a 1 pound bag of flour and guess what. I weighed in at 202.8!!! I have no idea so don't even ask. In any event I was shocked and needless to say that I thought there was some kind of error with the scale. Don't get me wrong I was super happy but I just didn't understand. Also when I weighed in at 206.6 I weighed myself three times because I was so disappointed I wanted to be sure before I lost my spirit. I am so excited because this weight loss marks a turning point for me. On the biggest loser every season you hear someone say oh my weight is XYZ and it hasn't been XYZ for 3 years. Well for me I haven't weighed less than 204 lbs for 3 years. I am very proud of myself and I only hope that I can keep it going and this wasn't a fluke. See the thing is I don't care if I gain 20 pounds as long as I know that I didn't cop out and I did everything that could. I don't want to lie to myself and I don't want to be the guy who regrets the bad decisions he has made. The inner demons that tempt me to eat junk food are not going to beat me without one hell of a fight. I can't afford to let them win or I might as well shoot myself in the head because eating like I was was just a passive form of suicide.

Today's Food: 4 servings Special K + Protein, 2 servings 2% milk 200 cals, 1 serving Dunkin Donuts multi grain bagel 390 cals, 4 servings egg whites 64 cals, 1 slice of American Cheese 80 cals, 1 serving of 2% milk 100 cals, 1 serving Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal 140 cals, 1 Banana 105 cals, 2 servings Jello 108 cals

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 22.2 Pounds

Date: 2/21/2010
Current Weight: 202.8 lbs
Daily Calories: 1,587

Exercise Routine: Walking 90 mins (Split 60 Lady Walk, 20 Short Hills Mall walk, 10 Quick Check for Milk walk), Elliptical 20 (Split 10, 10) mins

Waist Size: Not going to count my chickens
Body Condition: Not going to count my chickens
Mental Condition: Stunned and skeptical

Day 25 - My oh my

Wow this mornings weigh in sucked major. Basically I got on the scale and it said hey fat ass your now 206.6 thats what you get when you don't work out. It was hard to see but it helped me to make a really tough decision. I have decided to throw caution to the wind and start exercising again regardless of what happens. Some might say this is stupid but at the end of the day I need a mental victory otherwise I can't say I did all that I could and if my weight starts to creep back up slowly then I will have felt that I failed. Logically I know that I haven't but I do believe that its important for me to everything I can to lose weight. Wow after all of that guess what happened. I started to use the elliptical and to my surprise I had little to no pain. So happy that I am back in fighting condition. Hopefully now I can beat those pounds away once again.

Today's Food: 1 serving Fruity Pebbles 160 cals, 1 serving 2% milk 100 cals, 2 slices of Pepperidge Wheat Bread 120 cals, 1/4 Serving Tuna 15 cals, 1 celeste cheese pizza 350 cals, 1 serving of 100 cal popcorn 100 cals.

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 18.4 Pounds

Date: 2/20/2010
Current Weight: 206.6 lbs
Daily Calories: 845

Exercise Routine: walking 45 mins, elliptical 10 mins

Waist Size: Don't even want to think of it
Body Condition: Don't even want to think of it
Mental Condition: Super Super frustrated

Day 24 - WTF when will I ever get better

Still no change today. However one positive is that I haven't gained any weight YET!!!. However I am also starting to slip up on my calories a little which may mean more weight gain tomorrow morning. It's Friday my favorite day of the week and one bright point is my job. I am finally doing something different from what I have been doing these last 4 years. For a long time I was a Consultant but specifically a Computer Engineer which essential means I traveled around NJ and NYC fixing major problems for companies. The new job is that of a project manager for an I.T. company which I love. I was at first very doubtful as I never imagined that I could do this job. However when I started doing it I was shocked to see that I am a fish in water with this new venture. Not only am I good at my job but I am very good. My company also loves me because outside of my every day duties I can also be sent out to deal with serious problems. I am just thoroughly enjoying my job which is a relief for once. Being a project manager is great because I am the only one. Every where else I was just another engineer but here I am finally an important cog in the gear work of a company. The extra responsibility makes me feel good even when I am sad that I can't work out.

Today's Food: 2 Servings Special K + Protein Cereal 200 cals, 1 Serving 2% milk 100 cals, 4 Slices of Pepperidge Wheat Bread 240 cals, 1/2 Serving Tuna 30 cals, 3 servings of American Cheese 240 cals, 12 oz(estimated) of grilled chicken 360 cals, 1 serving Dinner fries 380 cals, 3&1/2 serving of Wheat Bread, 1 Banana 105 cals, 1 serving of 100 cal popcorn 100 cals.

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 204.4 Pounds

Date: 2/19/2010
Current Weight: 204.6 lbs
Daily Calories: 1,900

Exercise Routine: N/A Still sore hooping not to injury myself further..

Waist Size: No Change
Body Condition: No Change
Mental Condition: Super Super Sad and a little bit frustrated

Day 23 - Getting better but not there yet

So this morning I woke up and stepped up on that unforgiving scale. It laughed at me and informed me that I had gained .2 pounds. Well its not all bad I guess considering that I have not worked out in three days. I poked myself in the ribs to see if they were still tender and the pain is getting duller but I fear that if I work out again I might injure them even worse. At this point in the back of my mind I wonder if I tore the muscle because I would expect after using two days of the muscle relaxer that I would be back in business. I notice that I am starting to hate my morning weigh ins. Either I have to stave myself which I refuse to do or I have to start exercising again and that's possible but also potentially dangerous as I can't afford to be laid up for two weeks. I just hope that this pain ends soon so I can get back to my routine. I might take lady for a walk tomorrow morning we will see how that goes. Although she does pull on the leash which stretches my arm out and that might aggravate my rib injury. Oh well its worth a try.

Today's Food: 2 Servings Special K + Protein Cereal 200 cals, 1 Serving 2% milk 100 cals, 2 Slices of Pepperidge Wheat Bread 120 cals, 1/4 Serving Tuna 15 cals, 1 Celeste Pizza for one 350 cals, 1 serving Cookie Crunch cereal 200 cals, 1 serving 2% milk 100 cals, 2 Banana 210 cals, 24 Sweet Hearts 120 cals

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 20.4 Pounds

Date: 2/18/2010
Current Weight: 204.6 lbs
Daily Calories: 1,415

Exercise Routine: N/A Still waiting maybe another 3-4 days.

Waist Size: No Change
Body Condition: No Change
Mental Condition: Super Sad

Day 22 - Still sore when will it end?

So I stepped on the scale this morning and there was no change thank goodness. However I also gave myself a little poke in the ribs. I was saddened to see that I was still sore in the ribs. It sucks not being able to exercise because I find without that exercise boost I get I am dragging ass all day long. It feels good to know that you worked out hard and you are tired but energetic at the same time. I also find that exercise both clears my head and improves my mood. It's so annoying to be hurt and then after two days on muscle relaxers to only feel marginally better. Grrr....

Today's Food: 2 Servings Special K + Protein Cereal 200 cals, 1 Serving 2% milk 100 cals, 2 Slices of Pepperidge Wheat Bread 120 cals, 1/4 Serving Tuna 15 cals, 1 Celeste Pizza for one 350 cals, 1 Banana 105 cals, 1 Jello Banana and Chocolate Pudding

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 20.6 Pounds
Date: 2/17/2010

Current Weight: 204.4 lbs
Daily Calories: 1,415
Exercise Routine: N/A :(
Waist Size: No Change
Body Condition: No Change
Mental Condition: Sad

Day 21 - What a relief

Ok so I went to the doctors and he told me that its nothing serious just a pulled muscle. Weird since there should be no reason for a pulled muscle but who knows. The doctor put me on muscle relaxers so hopefully this settles down and I can work again. The doctor said I should take 3-4 days off from exercising. Also the muscle relaxers know you out when you take them. I had one last night before bed and I am still tired. :(. However on a good note I lost that pound I had just gained back.

Today's Food: 2 Servings Special K + Protein Cereal 200 cals, 1 Serving 2% milk 100 cals, 2 Slices of Pepperidge Wheat Bread 120 cals, 1/4 Serving Tuna 15 cals, 2 Celeste Pizza for one (I was still hungry after eating the first so I waited 30 mins to see if the hunger would go away...It didn't), 1 Banana 105 cals, 1 Empire Apple 80 cals, 1 Jello Banana & Chocolate Pudding 60 cals, 1 Serving Popcorn - 100 cals

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 20.8 Pounds

Date: 2/16/2010
Current Weight: 204.2 lbs
Daily Calories: 1,480

Exercise Routine: N/A :(

Waist Size: No Change
Body Condition: No Change
Mental Condition: Relived

Day 20 - Where my money

Darn I lost that pound I gained yesterday :( It's not fair. In any event I went to start my workout last night and after 1:30 on the Elliptical I felt a sharp pain at the middle of the right side of my chest. It felt like a pulsing or cramping. I had to stop because it was too painful. In any event I decided to suspend working out because I don't want to injure myself long term. Hopefully the doctor can figure out whats wrong with me.

Today's Food: 2 Servings Rye Bread 130 Cals, 1/4 Serving Tuna 15 cals, 2 Servings Special K + Protein Cereal 200 cals, 1 Serving 2% milk 100 cals, 2 Slices of Pepperidge Wheat Bread 120 cals, 1/4 Serving Tuna 15 cals, 1/2 Sweet Potato 57 Cals, 4 Oz Chicken Breast with Southwest Spice Rub 120 cals, 2 Servings Rye Bread 130 Cals, 1/4 Serving Tuna 15 cals, 1 Banana 105 cals.

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE: 20.8 Pounds

Date: 2/15/2010
Current Weight: 204.2 lbs
Daily Calories: 1,027

Exercise Routine: N/A :(

Waist Size: No Change
Body Condition: No Change
Mental Condition: Nervous about my injury
On another note I am starting to budget some new exercise equipment to help my goals. The first is a good rowing machine, then a fitness ball, tension bands, boxing gloves and a heavy bag, a new bicycle and helmet. I would also love to do Boxing, Kick Boxing, Karate, Pilate's, or Yoga.